How Can Community Become Intentional

As disability advocates have been working to promote more inclusive community, there has been struggles that have led to frustration. Everyone agrees that inclusion is a good thing, and would like to see it happen, but know it is hard to achieve. We can promote an inclusive community, but we really can't control the behaviors of others. So we can help people get "in" to community, but can not get people to be fully embraced by the community.

In this struggle, some advocates have advocated backing away from the general community and developing "intentional" communities where everyone invited to the community have been hand picked as ones who agree with the values and directions of the group. Of course, intentional communities are not a new thing. People have self selected there own community for time in memorial. This goes back to the notion of tribes and selected groups.

Still, it seems to me that when we promote intentional communities, just for people with disabilities, this form of segregation in the end, holds our movement for inclusion back.  When we find our own space, for our own kind, we allow the general community to abdicate its responsibility to all citizens. I get the emotional rationale, but feel in the end it is a cope out from the real challenge of inclusion.

So, how do we get the behaviors of the general community to be more hospitable? I think the answer to this challenge is found in social capital. In a way, the more people become known, and connected to the general community, the more the behaviors of inclusion will be influenced.

We can't force people to change their behavior, but we can continue to find ways to connect people we support to the general community. In this process, we make the general community more intentional.

Do You Practice "Graceful Inclusion?"

I recently received an email from my friend, Trevor. He is an emerging leader in our community and we are both members of a "Social Justice Conversation Group" that meets monthly, that I usually host at our agency, CLASS in Pittsburgh.

Trevor was writing to thank me for practicing "graceful inclusion" for him and others that might arrive a bit late for our meetings.  He said that whenever he comes in late, I will always welcome him and softly catch him up with the conversation. He said that this gesture always lessens the awkwardness of being late and makes him feel genuinely welcomed.

Now I am not so sure how conscious I am with this, but I do know that when I enter any gathering late, it is hard to know what has been happening, and how I might squeeze into the discussion. This is often not only awkward, but might be the reason folks decide to not engage at all if they find themselves late.

Trevor's email got me to thinking about all of the small aspects that might be a part of "graceful inclusion." The notion of offering coffee, or drinks; making sure that people know one another; assuring that the newcomer have a physical place in the discussion; inviting reticent folks to weigh in on the topic - all of these are parts of "graceful inclusion."

For people to not only engage, but want to come back to the discussion the next time, is really incumbent on the existing members to be aware of the welcoming process. So the next time you are involved in some sort of engagement, be the first to practice "graceful inclusion." Not only will the newcomer feel good, but the other members will benefit in the process. 

How Strong Are Your "Weak" Ties

For a number of years many of us have been very interested in "Social Networks," and "Social Capital." We have studied, researched, taught and written (Social Capital: The Key to Macro Change, Lapublications.com, 2014) about this fascinating subject. The evidence on the positive effects that unfold through our relationships is beyond refute. We know that health, happiness, advancement, achievement, and even our longevity are tied to our social networks and social capital. We know that people get, and keep jobs based on their relationships, and that psycholochogical balance all point to our friendships. 

We also know that social capital is not distributed equally. Many studies show that people who are better educated, either formally, or informally, have wider and deeper social networks. This includes both "strong" and "weak" ties.  Quite simply, poor folks, people with disabilities, immigrants, and other minorities, on average, have less social capital.

Now strong ties are those close relationships we have with family and people we feel deeply bonded with and as you might expect, these connections are important. The covenant people in our lives play a significant role in our lives. 

Equally important however, are the weak ties in our lives. These are the people we know casually., the acquaintances we have where we know these people, and might call them friends, but they are not close to us. These connections tend to be more diverse, as they unfold with people all over the scale, age, ethnicity, perspective, or experience. Yet, it is the reach and diversity of these weaker social ties that are valuable for our social mobility, and in many ways, our economic advancement. This plays out in the connections that can unfold when you are led to a friend of a friend. This is the power of "weak ties." 

Think about it - how often have you had a door open to you (or your children, or someone you serve) when you connected with a friend of a friend. More, think about your close ties today. Probably most of them were introduced to you by a friend of a friend. 

So, in your social network, know that the close ties are important, but your "weak ties" are the ones that lead you to new things, and new awareness. You never know when your life will be enhanced by a friend of a friend. 

How strong are your weak ties? 

What Is Your Personal Mission Statement

All organizations are advised to have mission/vision statements that announce to the world what they stand for, and what they do. In fact, many organizations spend loads of money to enlist advice in this task. It is an important part of a business plan. 

At CLASS, we refined our mission/vision statement years ago, and have attempted to share it as extensively as possible with the world around us. Our statement is simply, "Working Towards a Community Where Each Belongs." This statement accentuates that we believe in full and inclusive community for all people; and that when we belong to community, we are known, and everyone, in a sense, benefits. 

Yesterday I was discussing our vision statement with some new members of our board of directors at our QSPC (Quality Services Program Committee)  meeting. This committee oversees all of our services and assures our overall board of directors that we are striving for the highest quality for our services.

As we did our introductions at this meeting I wondered about the personal mission/vision of these board members. Here were 5 board members, all busy and hard working professionals, who were taking time and volunteering their services to CLASS. What, I wondered, was motivating them to give freely of their time and help us get better as an organization. 

In a way, they were committing to their own personal vision statement. Individuals, as well as organizations, should have their own vision and mission statement. We need to think about what we stand for, and what we care about; what our values are, and how we can make this world a better place.  

In the end, our personal mission statement, becomes our legacy. It frames our own personal commitment, and grows beyond us. It defines our reputation, and becomes an energy in and of itself. It also helps others understand who we are. 

So what is your personal mission statement? What are you about, and how do you manifest this vision into action? More, how does your mission statement make the world a better place? 

Bridging the Gap Between the Two Americas

It is always dangerous for me to visit bookstores. As a passionate reader I am reminded about all the books I would like to read, and then when I make my selections, it costs me an arm and a leg. 

But my trip to the bookstore this time was deliberate as I wanted to get the new book by Robert Putnam, the renowned Harvard sociologist. It was Putnam, and his article in 1994, then follow-up book, "Bowling Alone" (2000) that framed the notion of social capital that has been so helpful to our work at CLASS. 

In keeping with his commentating on life in America, Putnam' new book is title, "Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis." (Simon Schuster, 2015). For any advocate interested in kids and families, this is a must read. 

Putnam starts the book by going back to his boyhood home in Port Clinton, OH, and exploring what had become of his classmates some 55 years later.  His point of initiation is that although their were differences in income, by and large, people knew and engaged together.  He then counter compares this with recent findings of the huge gaps and disparities In America today. In a section titled, "Toward Two Americas," he statistically shows the changes that are apparent today. He states: "In the quarter century between 1979 and 2005, after tax income (adjusted for inflation) grew by $900 a year for the bottom fifth of American households, by $8,700 a year for the middle fifth, and by $745,000 a year for the top 1 percent of households." From 2009 to 2012 the real income of the top 1 percent of American families rose 31 percent, while the real incomes of the bottom 99 percent barely budged!

In this disparity he found that income trends were especially divergent among people with different levels of education.  He displays some of this educational divide with a variety of graphs which couldn't be more stark in looking at the wealth gap, median age of mothers at first birth, unmarried births, children living in single parent families, employment of mothers, imprisonment rate and the like. It is sobering stuff.

In fact, the imprisonment rate alone has skyrocketed since 1980 from 100/100,000, which is where it has been since 1920 to its present 500/100,000. He states that having a dad in prison is one of the most common themes in the lives of poor kids. 

But it is this educational divide that took me aback. The dichotomy and then stark disparity between people who had the opportunity for advanced education, and those that didn't is hugely telling as it relates to all the important things for families and kids. 

Yet, we live in times where advanced education, for many (maybe most) is becoming economically out of reach; and for those who take the plunge, end up in insurmountable debt. It is ironic that you can buy a car at little or even no interest, yet to get a college loan you pay upwards of 8, 10, even 12 percent. 

And what about for those that college is not possible, for whatever reason. Certainly this impacts many people with disabilities, or other people with issues that might compromise academic proficiency. Will these people continue to be put in situations that make life harder, or less satisfying? 

These are the important questions in front of us as a society, and for our communities overall. And thanks to Putnam (and other social commentators) we have the information to set the stage for the important changes that must happen. 

How Engaged Is Your Family In Community?

As we continue to find new and innovative directions for our organization, CLASS, to be a benefit to the community, we have begun to explore ways we can research things we are learning in the field. Now usually research is conducted by universities/colleges, and they do a good job in this endeavor, but often remain somewhat disconnected from the realities of the greater community. To this end, CLASS feels like we can stay true to realities of the streets, yet connect with the universities in the process. 

This exploration initiated with work that CLASS did through the "Interdependence Network," a coalition of organizations that are interested in community change, by surveying some 250 individuals with disabilities to ascertain their patterns of engagement and compare this to folks without disabilities.  Now this type of study is not exactly how the hardcore researchers proceed, but is more of a snapshot in time with a group of similar people looking at specific issue. Still, this inquiry yields interesting and important information that can guide how human service agencies can be more relevant to their constituents.

The work we did with the Interdependence Network is telling and you can see some of our results at www.buildingsocialcapital.org, the IN website. 

More recently, however, aligning with Chatham University in Pittsburgh, CLASS launched another "field-oriented" survey tied to our past work, but this time to explore the engagement patterns of families who have children with disabilities, and compare them to similar families whose children do not have disabilities. This study was driven by reports we hear from families who have children with disabilities and how uncomfortable they can feel when out and about, and especially if their children have unique or essentially behavior patterns. Many of these families have told us they would rather just stay home. So CLASS and Chatham decided to explore this phenomena. 

To enhance this exploration we also aligned with Mamre Association, one of the most forward-thinking organizations based in Brisbane, Australia. I had the pleasure of spending time in Brisbane with Mamre this past year and was deeply impressed with their passion for full and inclusive community opportunities for families. 

So now the CLASS - Chatham - Mamre study is underway and we are looking at 50 families in Pittsburgh (25 with a disability experience, and 25 without) and 50 similar families in Brisbane. Soon we will have our results. 

i tell you this because the notion of active family engagement patterns are critical in so many ways. First, they teach youngsters the cultural protocols necessary for being successful in the community. They also are fundamental to the social capital process. In a way, the more a family engages with their children, the more likely their children will be successful in community engagement, and the more social capital these children will build.  

So, how engaged is your family? If you have a family member with a disability, how often do you engage in the community? More, how sensitive and supportive are you in reaching out to the families with a member who is experiencing a disability in the places you go? 

Keep sensitive to this and we can create friendlier, more hospitable communities! 

What You Can Do To Build Community

We know that there are many people in our communities today who are socially isolated. We also know social isolation is a terrible thing. Studies have shown that isolated people have more health problems, are more depressed, have less opportunity, and even are a greater risk dying. 

Along with all of this, we also know that their are risk factors that can accelerate social isolation. Among the risk factors are aging, disability, poverty, or other differences that are minority aspects. Just aging, or disability alone can thrust a person (or family) into isolation. 

Any of us reading these words might remember a situation or experience that rendered us to be more isolated.  When these things happened, you might remember how bad you felt, or vulnerable you were. These memories, when we care to examine them, should be a motivator to do something about this.  So, what can you do?

As simple as it might seem, the antidote to social isolation is to build more relationships - social capital! And there are things that we, everyday citizens, can do to address social isolation. We don't have to rely or expect "social service" agencies will take care of these social problems. These would include: 

*. Reach out to new people, and especially those who are at risk

*. Introduce yourself and engage in conversation. 

*. Look for the similarities you share

*. Introduce these same people to other friends you have, and promote them in your circles

*. Seek out neighbors you do not know, and introduce yourself

*. Sit out more on your front porch, rather than hiding on your back deck

*. Smile more, and establish eye contact with people

*. Be curious and more alert to how important your own social capital is to your well-being. 

These are all simple things, sort of the low-hanging fruit of social capital. Still, every effort we make to address social isolation, and to help others build social capital, is an investment in a better world for all of us. 

How Can Communities Be More Hospitable

For my entire career I have been advocating for full and open community. My organization, Community Living And Support Services (CLASS) articulates this with our tag line; "working towards a community where each belongs." We believe deeply that all people, regardless of their situation, should have a place in community.  (www.classcommunity.org).

In my voyage, however, I have met people and parents, who feel that community is just not sensitive or respectful to their situation, and are opting out. They are tired of the bullies, or predators who taunt or take advantage of them. They are looking to develop safe places, off from the general community, where they, or their children can be safer, with their own kind. They call these havens, "intentional communities." 

I certainly understand this direction. After so much rejection, it becomes tiring to continue to press on, and is easier to find a separate place, rather than deal with the insensitivity and negativity often found in the greater community.   Still, I think we need to be cautious about intentional communities. I think we have not explored all the macro, community change options. As Dr. King so eloquently said, "separate is never equal." 

If we think about our community inclusion efforts, most of this energy has been built on formal legal opinions, such as the ADA, or the Olmsted Act, that mandates public accommodation. These efforts tend to "force" communities to change, and often there is resistance to these measures. People do not like to be forced. 

Before we retreat to intentional communities, I suggest we look more closely at informal community change. In this effort we shift our agenda to the power of relationships and the impact of social influence theory. As people who are different from each other, build relationships around things they have in common, I believe, the bully and negative behaviors will begin to wane. 

We know that powerful social attitudes can be adjusted, or changes when people get to know each other. If we intentionally separate and segregate people because we think this will keep them safer, in the end we may make things worse. 

All people, in their hearts, want to belong and be a part of the mix. By promoting relationships, social capital, we get closer to that reality. 

Who Do You Trust

I was invited to write an article for an academic journal on social capital so I have been digging into the literature on this topic to prepare. A couple years ago, as Jeff Fromknecht and I were working on our book, "Social Capital: The Key to Macro Change," we had reviewed most of the salient studies, but it was a while back, so I "hit" the books. 

There has been much written on this topic, and the power and value of relationships can be traced back to Aristotle. In fact, the importance of community and the value we reap from being a member of "tribes" was recognized in the "I-Ching," one of the most ancient of texts!  

Looking at the U.S., the noted French scholar, Alexis de Tocqueville, writing in 1840, said: "associations (communities) unites divergent minds and vigorously directs them toward a clearly indicated goal." He says that relationships counterbalance the dangers of individualism (selfishness, headonism, and the like). 

But the real core of understanding social capital boils down to "trust." That is, when sociologists look to measure social capital, the variable that they focus on is social trust. And some social scientists say it is not so much trust, but "trustworthiness." That is, the people around you, close or not, that you feel you can trust. 

Now usually trust is an earned commodity. With most of our early relationships, we need experience with the person before we start trusting them. In a way we expect people to earn our trust. In fact, we teach children not to trust strangers. This begs the question, "how did you learn to trust?" How are you teaching your children about trust? Where do you fall on the trustworthiness scale.? Who do you think trusts you?

As simple as it seems, you can begin to measure your social capital, in a way, by thinking about the people in your life that you trust. 

Social Capital, School Achievement and Social Academics.

I am preparing for a keynote I will be doing in mid August for an educational achievement conference in Harrisburg, PA and have been going through my files and notes.  

When we were writing our book, "Social Capital: The Key to Macro Change" (2014), Jeff Fromknecht and I looked closely at the emerging literature that is linking academic achievement, and social success to social capital and relationships developed in school. In fact, in our book and in some of our own research carried out by CLASS (2007/2008), we introduced the construct of "Social Academics" as a framework to advance social capital strategies in schools. 

The evidence began to emerge in the mid-90's, however, when researchers reported that children with disabilities who were included in the general classroom did better academically and socially than similar students in segregated settings. In fact, in 1995, the National Center on Educational Restructuring and Inclusion (NCERI) reported on academic, behavioral, and social benefits for students with and without disabilities. 

But it is the social outcomes that seem to be most beneficial to children. Inclusive education helps all children to have a social conscious, improved social cognition, improved self esteem and self concept and to strive for social justice. Clearly, a child's development - academically, socially, emotionally, and spiritually - is enhanced by feeling a strong sense of belonging, caring, and a sense of community in schools. 

If you are an educator, parent, or advocate, this should be a clarion call for promoting inclusive education for all children, and to promote clear opportunities for children to build social capital in school. It is as important as "reading, writing, and arithmetic."

Social Capital and Social, Collaborative Skills

Over the years, as we have been studying, and attempting to utilize the things we know about social capital, the message has been framed from a simple foundation - Build more relationships, and positive life outcomes (health, happiness, achievement, advancement, even longevity) increase. This sounds easy enough, but as we look deeper, there are more things to consider. That is, what are the antecedent social skills that lead to greater social capital? Or, how important are academic skills in building relationships?

A new study, conducted by Penn State University, looked at 750 kids over the past 20 years, and helps us to better understand these antecedent social skills. This study, just published in the "American Journal of Public Health," found that kindergarteners with strong social and emotional skills were more likely than their peers to succeed in academic and professional roles 20 years later.   They found that things like the ability to cooperate, resolving conflicts, listening to others point of view, and giving suggestions without appearing bossy were all actions or skills that seemed to be prerequisite to success down the road of life. Researchers found that these kids with greater "social competence" we're more likely than peers to graduate from high school, earn a college degree, and hold a full time job. Even more powerful, the kids with weaker social skills were more likely to develop substance abuse problems, be unemployed, smoke pot, get arrested, or receive public assistance.

Further, they found that good social skills appear to be more important than academic ability in building relationships that lead to more tangible life success. Yet, as a society we seem hell bent on promoting academic and competitive skills as the key to better life outcomes. 

So, no matter where you find yourself, it would do you, and the folks you support (or your children)  well to examine, understand, and practice the things that help us get along with others. Cooperation and collaboration skills continue to be more important than competitive skills for a successful life.

Beyond Difference; Twenty Years Later

This month, 20 years ago, my second book, "Beyond Difference" was published and released. This book was my early reflections on the elements of macro change. It was becoming clear to me that the notion of fixing disability, for many, was a frustrating effort that had more negative ramifications than positive. In "Beyond Difference," I wanted to promote ways that community around the difference could become more accommodating. 

They say that 20 years is a generation and in celebration of this benchmark, I sat down and re-read this book. As any personal retrospection might offer, I found some of my comments and stories quaint, but by and large, I felt a satisfaction on how well the book held up, a full generation later. The primary concepts were cogent, and the thesis still viable. 

But after I put the book down, a sorrow began to emerge. The mere fact that the thesis still held water, also signaled that we have not made much progress in macro change. That the same realities are still present, some 20 years later, suggest that we have not come all that far in our advocacy. That the efforts to change society are still very present and screaming for action. 

Translational theorists suggest that it takes 20 to 25 years to see change be accepted in society. If this is the case, those of us doing macro change advocacy have a lot of work to do in a short period of time. So if you see yourself as a change agent, looking to promote culture change, take a look at "Beyond Difference." You can easily track it at Amazon.com, by searching the title, or my name. In fact, there are some used copies available for only a couple dollars. 

Regardless, if you believe in a community where each belongs, you also believe in a society where we can get beyond difference. Together we can make the world a better place. 

What Is Your Community Identity

Years ago, while in the graduate school of Social Work, we spent a lot of time exploring the importance of community. The thesis in this study was that there is an ongoing tension between our individual identity, and our roles in the communities around us. The notion was that a successful life required a balance between these 2 poles (Individualism vs Communitarism). 

Over the many years since this academic time, I have tried to stay sensitive to this balance, recognizing the need to nurture both sides of this framework. As time marches on, however, it seems that the notion of individualism has become more dominant in this balance in the world around us. People have seemed to retreat more into their individual world, at the expense of their communities. 

Even our politics in the US have skewed to the individual side of this equation. There is constant rhetoric that we need more individual responsibility and less dependence on government (the collective). That our taxes are too high, and if only people would do more for themselves, there would be less need for government. This debate plays out in many other ways. 

I was drawn back into this debate when a friend in Canada sent me a new book by Paul Born, a thought leader on community titled, "Deepening Community." The book is an excellent overview of this issue, filled with many thought-provoking concepts. One is the notion of identity. There is much attention paid to our development of an individual identity. That is, the kind of person that you want others to think of you. 

But what about our community identity? How do we see ourselves in collection with other people? These are good questions to ponder because in the end, it is our balance between individuality and community that leads to a successful life. 

So, where do you fall on this scale? What is your community Identity? 

What Any Advocate Can Learn From Gay Rights

It has been a historic week for gay rights in the United States and around the world with the Supreme Court ruling to lift any ban on same sex marriage!  Regardless of your position on this issue, we have witnessed one of the most amazing examples of social change on an issue that has been polarizing and controversial. 

Just 10 years ago, only 28% of Americans supported same sex marriage. Today polls are showing that over 62% of Americans are supportive. Any advocate or student of social change would do well to learn from the strategies that made this change happen. 

From my lens of observation, I can identify 3 major aspects, that I think informed a good portion of this shift. One has been the courage of many everyday people to "come out" and then continue to live their regular lives. As this happened, any shock from the announcements, gave way to the potency of their social capital to cause their friends and family to say, "no big deal." 

The second change, was the media, and entertainment making gay issues and situation just a part of everyday life. Movies, TV, news, the internet caused the sensationalism to lessen and for diversity of sexual orientation to become commonplace. 

The last factor I see is the emergence of the "gen-xers, mellenials," and youngsters in today's society being more accepting of diversity and reflecting more of the changes in our greater culture. 

So if you are an advocate for any group of people who have been devalued, marginalized, or maligned by the greater society, take note. There are important lessons for us all, as we work to build a community where each belongs! 

Are You An Advocate

I have been thinking a lot these past couple weeks about advocacy. This has been primarily with the passing of 2 incredible advocates who practiced in the greater Pittsburgh area, although their reach was profoundly so much more wide spread. Both of these folks were advocates extrodinare, though their styles were markedly different. One, Chuck Peters, was flamboyant, brash, and loud; the other, Lucy Spruill, was softer, focused, and dogged. Both did amazing things for others.

An advocate is someone who pleads a case for themselves, or others. They must have a passion in their heart, understand basic human behavior, understand power and how to use it, and must be willing to go out of their comfort zone to make change happen. They understand that you need other people to join your cause and must know how to organize people for the maximum impact. 

In my own advocacy development, I watched and learned from people like Lucy Spruill and Chuck Peters. I joined them on many occasions where we were both successful, and unsuccessful. Further I studied advocacy in graduate school, and recently wrote a book, The Macro Change Handbook (lapublishing.com, 2015) to share lessons learned from people like Lucy, Chuck, and so many more incredible advocates who have stood for something, and then worked to make it happen.

So what do you stand for?  What do you feel needs to be changed?  More importantly, what are you doing to make this world a better place for those who follow?  The passing of Lucy and Chuck is a wake up call to all of us that life is short, and the time is now. At the end of your road, you want people to say that you made the world better than you found it; that you stood for something; that you were an Advocate! 

Social Media and Social Change

People who know me and my work know that I stand for inclusion, full participation, and involvement of all people in community. At our agency, CLASS, (www.classcommunity.org) or in the teaching I do at the University of Pittsburgh, or in the consulting or public speaking I do (www.alcondeluci.com), the corpus of the message is that diversity is good and that all people matter.

As a change agent I look to advance this message in the work, writing, and speaking I do, but in thinking about ways people become influenced, we can not  forget social media. There are many social media outlets, but the primary ones most of us engage are Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Many people I know are active on all three platforms. 

Now each of these have their primary bent, with Facebook being mostly social, Twitter being mostly news/entertainment oriented, and LinkedIn being primarily business oriented. Still, the message of inclusion, community engagement, social capital, and participation are relevant to these big 3 social media outlets.

So, how can you take advantage of these outlets if you want to step up your advocacy efforts. First is to be able to succinctly articulate your message in a way that the average person will understand or find relevant. Don't be preachy or sanctimonious, but focus on the key points of relevance. Next, when you see a post that aligns or matters to you, share it with your community. Take a minute to add your alignment with the post and ask others to share it as well. 

When you do the math, and look at the exponential impact of a post that gets shared by a number of people, the reach can be enormous. You can never know the overall impact, but we do know however, that most behavior unfolds from social influences in our life. That is, we tend to mimic or model the behavior of others that we value. This can create a sea change in attitudes. 

So take a minute now to try this out. If you think this post is important, share it now. Repost it, or add to the construct with your own thoughts; but don't miss the opportunity to influence your virtual social capital. It is one small way we can change the world! 

Social Isolation and Lonliness - How Connected Are You?

One great thing about having the opportunity to travel is meeting new people, and benefitting from the things they tell or show me. On the other side of the issue, however, traveling takes me away from my family and colleagues in Pittsburgh and can lead to lonliness. Quite simply I miss people when I am away. 

These reflections have caused me to think more about lonliness and social isolation. These 2 things, lonliness, and social isolation are not mutually exclusive. They are tied together but research in this area suggests that you can be socially isolated, and not lonely.  Further you can be lonely, but not socially isolated.  Nonetheless, if you are lonely, or socially isolated, you are at risk. 

In fact, studies continue to report and demonstrate how risky these issues can be for people. As social animals, we need other people, and research suggests that isolation and loneliness are similar to hunger and thirst. When they are not present they threaten our survival and increase stress. This, in turn, lessens our immunities and we become so much more vulnerable and susceptible to illnesses.

In the end, friendships (social capital) are as critical for us as all the other basics of survival. Indeed, when we look at all the public health programs and campaigns that encourage us to exercise, or eat more healthy, or get more sleep to enhance our health; maybe we would do better as a society if we worked on friendships and relationships.

So stay connected, and be open to others. It is not only the right thing to do, but you will also enhance your own health! 

Who Will Care For You?

I am preparing to do a keynote for the first ever National Alliance For Direct Support Professionals Conference (www NADSP.org) on May 31 in Louisville KY and in doing my research, have been stunned by the magnitude of the need in our country (and around the world) for direct support care.

Now I have worked in direct care, and my agency, www.classcommunity.org has been providing direct support to people with disabilities for as long as I have been associated, some 44 years. And on a personal note, I have also been involved in the direct support of family members, especially in the last 10 years supporting parents and relatives. There is no question how challenging this work is, but there is also no denying how critical it is in our society. 

As we age, and as disabilities unfold, people need support and care. Certainly, anyone reading this blog, when reflecting, wants to grow old in their own home, and be supported to stay involved in aspects of community and family. Yet, the odds are you will need a caregiver as you try to live out this dream.  Who will that be? 

In looking at some of the data, there are over 12 million citizens in the US who need direct support. By 2050 this number will be over 27 million. Today there are 65.7 million Americans who provide direct care.  Economic estimates suggest long term care, either at home or in a facility is valued at $450 billion per year. 

Any way you cut the cards, there is an imaparative and challenge in our society. Everyday there are more people added to the direct support need pool, yet the reimbursements and investments necessary have fallen behind. Today, most direct support professionals are paid at, or below minimal wage. In many cases, direct support resources are not available and the challenge falls to family and relatives to do the everyday supports. This is a train wreck looking to happen. 

We need a viable national policy and priority on this issue. We need to recognize that the persons being supported by these professionals are our moms, dads, brothers, and sisters. We must understand that dignity and community opportunities need to be afforded to all people, even the most vulnerable, and that when we are cut off from our communities, this isolation is tantamount to death. 

So have you thought about your own long term care needs? Have you begun to plan for how you will be cared for when the time comes? Do you have the foresight to recognize, that this challenge must be addressed now. Tomorrow might be too late. 

Learn more at www.nadsp.org. 

The Continued Need For Change

One of my favorite courses in college was a history class, taught by a part time adjunct professor. He brought history to life, and regularly said that history is one of the most important topics, because it repeats itself. As a young man, I struggled with this concept because it seemed odd that if you experience something once, and deal with the issue, why would it ever come back. 

But as I have aged, and experienced more of life, my old history teacher was right.  Things do repeat themselves, and keeping a good record of what happened and how you dealt with it is a good strategy for better life success. 

To this end, I want to tell you about my newest book, "The Macro Change Handbook." (Www.lapublishing.com). The book chronicles experiences of advocacy, mostly for disability and human rights over my 45 years in the movement. It looks at the notions of community, change, power, organizing people, strategies and tactics for promoting a more inclusive, just and fair society. Using sound sociological and psychological principles it looks at successful, and not so successful actions and aspects that either I observed, learned from others, or tried myself in my role as a disability advocate. 

In a way, this book is a compliment to the work that Jeff Fromknecht and I published last year, "Social Capital: The Key to Macro Change."  In our approach, we see 2 veins to broader social change, regardless of the issue at hand.  One is the formal petitioning via laws, policy, regulation and mandate (think ADA).  This is the nuts and bolts of "The Macro Change Handbook."  The other is found with the informal aspects of relationship building; the focus of "Social Capital." 

If you are a change agent, and someone interested in a better world, you might want to look at both books. Know too, that all the royalties from these books go to our nonprofit organization,  CLASS (www.classcommunity.org).  You might learn some new approaches, and will make a donation at the same time.

The Lives We Touch

My mother-in-law, Concetta, passed away on Mother's Day, just 20 days shy of her 98th birthday. She had been in a hospice situation at our home and she passed away peacefully with my wife at her side.  

She was a wonderful woman, who I have known for 50 years, and has lived in our home for the past 20 years. As a natural part of our family, Coungy, as she was known, was loved by all. She took care of most everyone she was around and was the most industrious person I have ever met. She always wanted to be busy, and even in the last months of her hospice, she wanted to fold towels and shopping bags, or help however she might. 

I am honored to do her eulogy at the funeral mass, and as I have been preparing, the reflections have been powerful. I have done many eulogies, including both my mom and dad, but am always vexed by the challenge of summarizing a long, and full life, in the short 5 minutes allotted for eulogy. In a way this challenge does get you to focus on the essence of life, the most important things you want to remember, the legacy we want to leave.

In thinking about Coungy's life, I was drawn to a wonderful quote by Albert Schweitzer that really sums up this notion of legacy. He says, "What we do with our lives, individually, is not what determines whether we are a success. What determines our success is how we affect the lives of others." 

I love this quote because it brings us back to the most important variable of life- our relationships and behavior with other people. In this measure, though she wasn't wealthy, or held any big titles, or wielded power, Coungy's life was profoundly successful. She loved, nurtured, made time, and tended to everyone she met. She made other people's lives better. Nothing could be more important. 

And so, Coungy's final gift to our family, is this simple reflection. What matters most is how we touch others.

So how do you want to be remembered!